Ok, So about my "baby bleu" as they call new missionaries here. She is amazing. Literally amazing. She speaks really well the language. We work well together, shes from Kaysville, UT and went to Utah State. Shes majoring in marketing so shes pretty bomb at contacting! Its AWESOME! She worked in Capitol Hill Washington DC before the mission for congressman Bishop, and gave tours of the Hill and captiol! HOW CRAZY IS THAT! Anyway so shes super professional, and sometimes Im like, oh yeah Im supposed to be the trainer lol... Shes super smart she's picked up on the trajet really fast. Honestly, in 4 weeks she could train here no doubt about it! But, at the same time I have never been more humbled in my life. Now more than I am seeing my weaknesses. I am trying so hard, but its really one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I've cried everday... which is wierd for me, I've become super emotion since I've become a trainer. In the mission they call it a "mother" so I'm here mom, and shes my daughter. Well, now i understand why, I really do feel like her mom in a sense, and I just want to protect her from the people we meet everyday, and I can understand all the harsh things people say to us, and whenever she asks, wait i didnt catch all they said, i find myself, just saying, oh they just didnt have time to talk to us,... But, it was a hard week. All of our appointments fell through and there was one day we did contacting all day and had 0 lessons taught. It was horrible, I feel like the worst missionary ever having nothing for my bleu to teach. So Sunday the District leader called and we talked about mission life, and he was like, I cant believe your actually training, theres an Elder here whose in his 15 and never trained... Its a really big responsibility, but the Lord trusts you. You can do it. Soeur tupai told me, what I always told her when we had a bad day our favorite quote from Elder Holland, "Trust in the Lord, and believe in good things to come." Honestly I am really struggling climbing this mountian... its a little icy this time... and Im really tired. But I know the Lord would never let me down. He gives us tiny miracles everyday. I'm lucky for what I have, and I am realizing slowly that gratitude is more than just meerly being thankful. Its a way of life. constantly looking at the glass half full and knowing that any of our trials are just a small moment compared to the eternity to come. I read a talk by Uchtdorf and this week I kept looking at S.Tupai not being here as a trial, and an end to something good, but in it he said,
"It must have been this kind of testimony that transformed the Savior’s Apostles from fearful, doubting men into fearless, joyful emissaries of the Master. In the hours following His Crucifixion, they were consumed with despair and grief, unable to understand what had just happened. But one event changed all of that. Their Lord appeared to them and declared, “Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.”11
When the Apostles recognized the risen Christ—when they experienced the glorious Resurrection of their beloved Savior—they became different men. Nothing could keep them from fulfilling their mission. They accepted with courage and determination the torture, humiliation, and even death that would come to them because of their testimony.12 They were not deterred from praising and serving their Lord. They changed the lives of people everywhere. They changed the world.
You do not need to see the Savior, as the Apostles did, to experience the same transformation. Your testimony of Christ, born of the Holy Ghost, can help you look past the disappointing endings in mortality and see the bright future that the Redeemer of the world has prepared.......
In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.
Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless13 and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.
I am realizing more and more about having gratitude even in our times of trial. And no matter what our infulence will change the world. :)
I read the simily that Christ gives to the people the week before he performs the atonement and he said in summation. If we are a farmer that has seed but never plants it, we will never grow wheat. So we must first sacrafice what we know we have with faith and gratitude, hard work, and in the end we will have 10 fold what we started with. I really feel like that is the mission. You need to sacrafice all you have in the biginning, everything to be a consecrated missionary, but in the end we have an eternity of blessings 10 fold what we first sacraficed. I really liked this and as I am trying to work my hardest and be the best example to my bleu God will help us. He has changed me already, and I know that slowly he will mold me into the missionary I am meant to be. I just hope its soon, becuase its really a painful process haha.
I LOVE YOU and have a wonderful thanksgiving :) PS i tried to do a gratitude email because its thanksgiving. Also the apostle Cook is coming to our mission to talk on Thursday the 20th so yay! Excited for that! Love you tons!
Soeur Stevens
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