You brought up many good points in your email, that i have time to talk with you about.
1.One of the biggest and hardest things we deal with as missionaries is always as you said being charitable, serving constantly, and never judging. For example, we worked with one of our amis "Mary" for months, always asking ward members to help, worrying about how to get her to church, if she will follow up on our commitments, and so on. But in the end the question of baptism came, and she was just not ready. It was super hard, when they cant change thier lives, and you look back on the time and effort you put into making sure this person would feel so ready, and then in the end nothing happened. Its very disheartening, but we must push forward with the work. In Preach my Gospel it says it best, "